Apparently, women are not the only ones that are abused in the home. Every day there are countless men who are persecuted for beating their wives, girlfriends and children. Oh, the shame of The Justice System. Some men are even kept away from their own children for crimes as small and meaningless as sexual abuse. Guys, don't become a victim of the Women's Rights Movement. Get some support at this site.

Steel Girl: Merciless Retard Basher or Stupid Dork-face? You decide.

Steelgirl HQ has been bustling with bodies this month while our friends from Nashville, Angela and Derrick are visiting. We are enjoying their company so much that we decided to take them to the newest Chinesey restaurant in town. Thus begins my story.

Jon, Angela Derrick and I walked for the first time into a The Red Dragon about a week ago.

"Classy joint", I thought to myself as I noticed the indoor koi pond and traditional old school Chinesey music. It definitely had allure. Best of all, we held one of only two occupied tables since it wasn't exactly dinner-rush time. Ah, privacy.

We ordered some noodles and whatnot, and I started to become annoyed at the guy in the booth a few slots down from us who was talking and laughing rather loudly with his mouth full and pretty much having a great time. This normally wouldn't bother me too much, but maybe I was a bit aggro that day(PMS).

I peeked around the corner, and sure enough there was a leg adorned in wrangler jeans and a cowboy boot sticking into the aisle. I thought, "I've waited on too many of these loud, no tipping, confederate flag having, white trash rednecks in my time. Only in Central Oregon can you go into a nice restaurant and experience this crap."

So I said it - not loudly enough so that he could hear me and beat the noodles out of me, but I said it.

"I talk with my mouth full because I'm retarded. Errrrrr."

Everyone at my table just kind of looked down, and I apologized, explaining my view on the situation and my former experiences with said hillbillies who have no manners.

A few minutes later I started to realize, after listening a little bit more carefully, that this man was actually retarded.

I shrank in my seat and kept quiet for the rest of the dinner. I felt like such a jerkface.

And then, God intervened.

We were almost finished when the man who I had just called the R word(who turned out to be about 15 years old) walked over, stopped at our table, looked right at me, and said, "God bless you, Friend!". He didn't look at anyone else. Just me. He went on to explain how pretty he thought I was, what great style I have, how cool my t-shirt was, and how he'd just gone to church. After he got done telling me how much he enjoyed church, he blessed me again and went on his way. I'm pretty sure that God was laughing.

I'm now known as The Tard Basher.

On that note I end today's update. Tell me how mean I am. I deserve it.

I am bored and steelgirl is in need of an update, (Jon). so.....

We are on pins and needles around here waiting to find out if Ripley’s TV show is going to pick up Jason and the Body Art Dare Devils as an episode of their show this season. Keep your fingers crossed we could use another trip around here in a bad way. We find out next Friday for sure! In other steelgirl news, we had three orders last week! "Wow best week ever!" (Said in the tone of the comic book guy from the Simpson’s). If you are one of the lucky kids who has loot heading to your doorstep, please be patient. It seems the local post office has had its share of ANTHRAX  scares and is very slow right now. Keep in mind if you send in a picture of you and your order happy or sad you get free shipping on your next order and ever lasting fame on steelgirl.com! Just like this fine gentleman below.

Do you ever get the urge to make an appointment with a door-to-door vacuum salesman and dress up in a pretty pink prom dress? Well Kim does. This poor guy had no idea what was in store for him. He was trying to sell us a $2,000 air filtration/vacuum system, and all Kim wanted to do was to get into a large plastic bag and get all the air sucked out of it. Oh, what fun.

We felt a little bad after the hour long sales pitch was over, and we had to say, "No, sorry dude, we can't even afford car insurance let alone a $2,000 vacuum." Sad, but it was a reason to get up early on a Saturday.

In other news, we have been getting a few orders lately and have filled them all with the exeption of a few "Bathe, Hippy" shirts. We have to print a few more, so if you are waiting for one, please be patient as they should be done this week. In addition, to all of you who are receiving our fine products, please post your thoughts and/or pictures in one of our forums. Please, that is what we put them up for in the first place. Okay?

Lets dip into kim's mail bag this week ok kids?

Hi Kim! I love your website, very entertaining. I thought I would ask you a few questions though: #1.On average, how many e-mails do you get every week from geeky, pathetic, internet fanboys asking you to marry them? #2.Will you marry me? Don't worry my dear, I've thought this through: If you will make me a pair of black leather gauntlets with 1" spikes, I will at once move to Norway to start a Black Metal band. Then, after aproximately 5 1/2 years, 3.5 million kroners in profits (significantly less in US dollars), a smattering of church burnings, 18 months of prison time served, a series of ritual murders that the peasant folk are too terrified to even hint about in hushed whispers, and a complete return of the Scandinavian countries to Paganism, we can run off together and have a romantic sunset wedding in the Bahamas, after which you can steal all my money and leave me a broken shell of a man, whose only consolation is that IN YOUR ARMS, FOR ONE BLISSFUL MOMENT HE KNEW HEAVEN THROUGH THE LOVE OF THE SWEETEST, MOST BEAUTIFUL ANGEL, NAY... GODESS, WHO EVER DEIGNED TO BATHE THIS COLD, CRUEL WORLD IN THE WARM GLOW OF HER SUBLIME, MERCIFUL AND LIFE-REDEEMING PRESCENCE. Or, if you have plans, you can just send me those gauntlets. In other news, my princess, I am a creepy delusional fiend, but in other, MUCH LESS OBVIOUS, news, I have discovered that you have a long lost twin! Either that or you're the result of a government experiment in genetic engineering, kind of like Dark Angel, but don't get me wrong I'm not claiming to have ever seen that "show," nor would I ever wager to guess that Jessica Alba (whoever she may be) is even one-tenth as pretty AND talented in metal working as you are. I have however constructed and attached a diagram to prove my former point and I should caution you to make sure you're sitting down before you read it.

In closing: GOD BLESS AMERICA. AND KIM! Your potentially dangerous fan, Aleph Omega

that is much funnier than anyone here can come-up with. all custom orders considered just e mail us