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| This is my first try at posting a whole page so please bare with me I am sure Kim will fix everything I messed up. now on to the fun! as a few of you might know my partner and I own 2 small comic shops in bend, Oregon. for the first 2 years we had no problems with shoplifters at all but now that we opened up our second store it is shoplifters galore. I have even cough a kid trying to stuff a huge gundam wing model kit down his pants. so the deal is, get cough ripping off my store and you will suffer. I hate the police with a passion and would rather not involve them in anything I do. So the kids have a choice once I nab them trying to pocket pokemon packs. #1 get the 'rents down to the shop to have a little talk with the freaky looking shop owner guy I.E. me. and turn over the kid a few hours a week to "work" for the shop to pay off what they took. or as much as I hate dealing with pig's turn the jr. thief over and prosecute him and his parents for the max amount for theft $350. Trust me the shop could use the money. so this page is going to be a catalog of punishments the visitors from steelgirl send in. |
| our first "worker" was apprehend by the Kimster on April 24th stealing pokemon packs now I am not going to get into how stupid and pathetic it is to steal packs of pokemon I guess this kid just had to have them. so I send the kid home to return with his dad. I leave it up to the kid to turn himself in to dad. A week passes and no kid or dad. so much for the honor system it's wedgie time. I spread around some free pokemon cards to the thief's classmates and drop a few hints about telling the kid to turn himself in. it worked like a charm a day later I am face to face with one mad dad. so the deal is I get the kid for an hour every other day to "work" for .75 cents an hour till he pays off his debit he had been taking packs for awhile so I guessed at $20. So send in your ideas for work and if it's doable we'll post it here. I am not going to show any kids faces that are under 18 and don't bother sending in anything that is even remotely risky. let the fun begin |
| the first submission was from that twin loving freak phude(off line now). his idea involved Q tip's and
window cleaning i like efficiency so I up graded the kid to a chop stick with a small rag
waded up and taped to the top.
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our second idea came from seth at mused who by the way is sporting a helix
bracelet he bought from us YAY! (note: if we get allot of good ideas priority will go to
the people who support steelgirl) so his great idea was to tape sponges to the perps
feet and have him clean the floor by moon walking. now this might sound hard but it worked
out pretty well. I cut up some spare shag carpet I keep around for just such an occasion
and used my "no gays allowed boy scout" knot tying ability to secure chunks of
shag to his feet as so:  pretty sweet huh? the above picture was an idea originally sent in by Depi from bizzo's I just screwed up who sent in what sorry ~jon~ more today 5/15/01 It seems I confused Mused and Bizzo's requests so i will try to make amends today. Seth over at Mused, a fellow pickled web page wanted to really torture this poor kid by making him read a few Malibu comics. I thought it a little harsh but what the hell the kid did rip me off. so without any further ado here he is in all his crappy comic book reading glory or there lack of. I would also like to add that for a little torture bonus I had him go though over 2000 comics and pull out all of the Malibu comics then present all of them to me to find a really bad one. then I had him re-file the comics and read the very first issue of Metaphysique YUCK!
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 OK so today was a slow day for submissions for our shoplifter. so we went with the old condement contest. nothing like finger painting with mustard. this picture did not come out too well but that is our little pocket monster up there next to a very happy kim. todays project as you can see is deadacated to pac-land where we get all our online news from. along with dusting the mcfarlane toy wall and sweping with a very very small and crappy broom we made the kid sit and draw todays sign with small mustard packs. come on pepole send in your ideas. the kid has allready payed back 6.75 in the past 2 weeks we dont want to let him off too easy now do we? |
| It seems as if our little worker drone has taken a disliking
to his punishment. He was a no show on his Saturday shift and wandered in late for his
Tuesday hour. the little poke' pincher is getting cocky it seems. whatever shall I do? send in your ideas. anyway for his hour on Tuesday we
had him working for our favorite forum poster: IDGAF
I was working on a trash can helmet and a window squeegee helmet , but
I am one busy motherfucker and I have yet to finish either task as yet. but stay on the
look-out in the future for them. both great ideas sent in by IDGAF!
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| Today's work photo is dedicated to daninvan a regular on our forum he did not
submit an idea but then again neither did any one else. so this one is to you Dan.
Well today our shoplifter learned a valuable lesson. don’t back talk the store owner guy. Every time the evil little munckin complained about the music, the work, or the funny smell coming from the back room. I cut his floor cleaning green pad in ½. by the end of the ½ hour of work he was down to a 50-cent piece of scrub pad, and the kicker was he would still not shut up. What is the deal with young kids today anyway? Hold on did I just say that……shit that is all for today’s update. ~JON~ more to come the first week of June our kid will be working off his sin's for fragile sin and I have sent out E-mail to a select group of comic geeks asking for ideas because no one seems interested in sending them in. |
| Due to the underwelming response
to our request for punishment ideas, we have decided to start dedicating "work"
to a few select steelgirl supporters. This week - Fragile Sin - a long
time supporter from BadAssChick. This afternoon our 'lifter rode up late on a shiny new bicycle. When I asked him where the hell he's been for the last few days he snapped at me, "Out at the coast ". Ewww - 12 year olds that talk down to me are not my favortie thing to deal with. So I put him to work right away with his 3 inch rag on hands and knees scrubbing the mystery "dirty water" spots on the floor in the back room. Trust me - it smelled none too nice. Here he is at work:
After a good half hour of floor scrubbing, I wanted him out of my store as to not infect other kids with his attitude. Befor releasing him, though, I had one last task from Miss Sin. Disco babee, disco!
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Double punishment Saturday is here and as we work on closing
our 2nd location the lifter has a lot of work ahead of him. I am also doubling the
dedications today. the first was sent in by a lance corporal stationed down in 29 palms
with the USMC. As you might guess he
knows a little about punishment. so I had our young thief "police the area"
i.e. pick up every tiny peace of trash around the store. as I stood behind him correcting
every little thing he did. Marine style. the second hour consisted of our little friend painting
over the store punisher skull logo. With a very small art paint brush. sorry about the
poor quality of the photos today We had a magic tournament today so the store was a mad
house.  the sign says" this one's
for Lcpl George" sorry I told you these pictures suck.
and here he is a 1/2 hour later after trying unsuccessfully to cover the punisher skull with his quarter inch paint brush. sorry about the sign it says " property of the turpitude Marines". no Kim around to help the past few days so every thing i do looks like shit, sorry ~jon~ |
Our current shoplifter has paid his dues to us and society although he was such a punk about the whole thing we still do not allow him into the store but feel free to send in ideas for the next kid we catch I am sure there will be one soon.
that's all for
today folks he will be back on Thursday with a one page report on this very crappy comic
and god help him if he loses my only copy. I bet these things are going for bank on 
so never the one to admit i screwed up, i blame it all on the
kid.
<<<<<<<here he is
before with his little brush in hand